To Gaze at Wonder
by Capheine
Summary: [Oneshot] A leisurely stroll turns into a freak accident leaving Tohru shocked and Yuki with one less...


A/N: Well, another spur of the moment fan-fic…Just felt like writing.  Please read and review.  Flames are welcome as long as they're constructive!

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, and not some forlorn idiot like me :B**

"Honda-san should be more careful," Yuki sighed, picking her up from her prone position on the black floor.  It was surprising how clumsy she could be at times.

"Hai, gomenasai Yuki-kun.  It's just that the crack was there, and even though it was the only crack on the asphalt it's like my feet were there, and the crack was there, and they were attracted to one another, and my toe just happened to get caught, and I fell, and couldn't stop myself from falling, because you know, gravity and stuff, so then yea…I fell," Tohru babbled, still extremely embarrassed from her ungainly tumble.  How on Earth could she have fallen?  And right in front of Yuki too!  Yuki, the most suave, smooth guy that she had ever met.  What a failure she must be in his eyes…

Her blue eyes meekly gazed up into his deep purple ones.  His eyes were always focused, they never lost their sharpness, and he constantly looked concentrated on the task at hand.  Oh how they contrasted from her dreamy azure ones.  She had quite a short attention span, and could not help her mind from wandering.  When she cleaned, when she cooked, during school…things just faded out of her thoughts.  Her eyes were always in a daze, looking but not really seeing, there but floating over anything that caught her attention.

"Honda-san, are you okay?" Yuki questioned, still concerned about her well-being.

Tohru had been lost in thought again.  She had been dreaming and thinking about their different eyes and that led to different hair colour, which of course linked to particularly fuzzy bunnies, and then camels with really long hair, meaning also deserts and oasis and bottled water and plastic recycling…

"Tohru-kun?" Yuki asked, hoping that his change in her address would snap her out of her daze.  And indeed it did.

"Yes Yuki-koi--kun?"

Tohru's face coloured.  Had she just called him Yuki-koi?!?  Bells, whistles and anything else what could produce an annoying high pitched sound went off in her head.  Would he think that she actually felt that way for him??  It's just that she was thinking of socks, which led to Puss in Boots, and then cats like to eat fish, and koi was a type of fish popular in Japan and then…the word just slipped out.

Oh really?

This of course started an entirely different train of thought.  Her blue eyes once again unfocused, and Yuki, finally giving up on establishing small talk remained quiet.

But the silence between them wasn't uncomfortable at the least.  Their relationship held a sort of invisible bond – one that they didn't need to continuously talk to know that they were still friends.

Tohru's daydreaming had become a regular activity to Yuki.  Secretly, he had begun to daydream as well.  Whenever she faded away to the depths of her enigmatic head, he would begin to wonder.  Wonder what she was thinking about, and occasionally get lost in his own mind.

Both were completely out of it, when Tohru ran smack dab into a large stacking of lead barrels labelled "Toxic Waste – Hazardous".  A barrel on top of the pile wobbled back and forth.  Tohru swayed where she stood, black dots flashing before her eyes.  With multiple clangs and a few crunches, the top barrel began its descent, aimed directly for Tohru's head.

"Tohru-kun!  The barrel!" yelled Yuki, and he lunged toward her, hoping he could push her out of danger.

But Tohru was completely dazed.  Her mind screamed, 'GET OUT OF THE WAY!' but the urgent messages never reached her legs.  Her left foot wobbled weakly, moving upwards ever-so slightly.  It dropped back down again, and her head lolled to the side.  She was already exhausted from the small movement she had attempted.

Yuki took two steps and one giant bound toward Tohru.  He had to get her out of the way.  Mere moments seemed like eternity, and finally he was able to get to her.  With one swift shove, he had gotten her out of danger's path…and put himself directly in it.

Yuki's force had snapped Tohru back into consciousness.  She had fallen against a brick wall, and was relieved to be away from the perilous barrel.  But relief had quickly turned into panic, and her head turned towards Yuki's position.  "Yuki-kun!  NO!"

The lead barrel exploded with one last bounce.  Toxic waste spewed everywhere.  The metal container hit Yuki squarely on the head, and he fell to the asphalt with a resounding thud.

Tohru watched, horrified, from her position just metres away.  There was a point where everything completely slowed down.  The clear, liquid toxic waste nearly froze in midair, lethargically making it's way down.  The barrel bounced against the gravel floor, each sound playing out extremely slowly, loud bass tones ringing.  And Yuki – Yuki was against the pavement, a thin trickle of blood lacing its way through his features; the toxic waste positioned above him, a daunting cloud of liquid hovering before his eyes.

Time sped up again.  The liquid splashed against Yuki's body, its force further pinning him down.  And there he stayed.

Seconds passed, and Tohru was still stunned.  How could this have happened?  What started off innocently enough had morphed into something that had not only threatened her life…but could have possibly taken Yuki's.

            All of a sudden, Yuki was thrashing about.  His legs and arms twitched uncontrollably, and his head cracked from one side to another.  Each muscle in his body seemed to convulse, and the hair that usually framed his face perfectly was strewn everywhere.  His fingers curled and uncurled, forming beast-like claws.  And he began to yell, the words escaping his mouth with intensity, "The pain!!  Oh God…the PAIN!"

            His cries echoed throughout the alley, but it seemed that no one was around to help.  Tohru moved quickly onto her feet, no longer was she the naïve little girl she used to be.  Taking charge of the situation, she ran towards the main street and into a nearby store.  "God…please help…my friend…he's in the alley…toxic materials," she gasped, panic-stricken eyes searching for someone to help.

            The customers froze and nobody responded, the clerk staring at her like she was some sort of side show freak.  "LISTEN TO ME!  My friend is in DANGER!  CALL A DAMN AMBULANCE!" she screamed, shaking the clerk by the shoulders.

            Finally, a businessman browsing through magazines flipped out his cellphone.  "Hello, there is a girl here in obvious distress.  She says her friend is in danger…toxic materials or something.  Our location is at…" the man shot quickly into the portable phone.

            Tohru left the store and strode back to Yuki.  "Don't worry Yuki-kun.  I'm here, someone's coming…just please stay still, you'll hurt yourself more.  Yuki…Yuki-kun, can you hear me?  Yuki-kun…please stop moving…Yuki!"

            But Yuki's state of mind was elsewhere.  He jolted every few seconds, spasms of pain coursing through his body.

*** Yuki's POV ***

            I was afraid…afraid for Tohru.  The barrel was about to come crashing upon her head – I had to do something.

            I shoved her away, happy that I could get her out of the way in time.  But, I had miscalculated one thing.  I turned my head horrified and watched as the large lead barrel, battered and dented, split apart, clear liquid exploding from its broken container.

            There was nothing I could do about the liquid.  No way I could break apart from its clutches.  I lay there, waiting for the inevitable.  "Yuki-kun! NO!"  I heard Tohru cry, but the sound was muted, muffled.  My mind was completely concentrated on the liquid; watching its every movement, and waiting…the slow and painful wait.

            The metal barrel hit me on the head, pushing me down onto the asphalt and sending me into a slight state of unconsciousness.

            When the waste finally hit me, it was a complete surprise.  It looked like it was coming at me very slowly, and yet its force bludgeoned my body.  For a split second I couldn't breathe, its liquid filled my eyes, nose and mouth.  Then air was returned to me again, but I felt paralysed.

            I felt the burning.

            The pain was intense…no, not only intense - the pain was the ripping of a child from its mother, the death of a loved one, the knowing that you were completely alone in the world.  And it wouldn't stop.  I shut my eyes, trying to separate myself from my body, imagining that I wasn't there.  But I was.  And I had to endure…endure the endless pain.

            I could hear an ambulance approaching.  The slow wail of its sirens pounded through my head.  It magnified the pain.  The burning.

            And everything was black.

***

            I awoke to the sound of beeping.  Grasping my pounding head, I realized that my forehead was swathed in gauze.

            As my hands passed over my left eye, there was a sharp shot of pain.  That was where the barrel had hit me.  I collapsed backward.  _I must be in a hospital…but if I'm in the hospital, where is everybody?_

"Yuki-kun!  You're awake!"

            Her voice surprised me.  I turned to the left.  "Tohru-kun!  How long have I been asleep?"

            I propped myself up on the soft sheets and pulled my blanket higher.  By sitting up I had become fully aware of the backless hospital gown I was wearing.  "It must've been at least two days Yuki-kun!  The doctors were performing surgery for such a long time!  I was so worried!  Please Yuki-kun, don't ever do that again!  You could've died, instead of just…"

            Her voice broke and she began to her arms around me, but then paused.  How I longed for her to hug me, embrace me.  But I knew that the curse was the barrier that held her back.  I had to be content with the closeness that we had at that moment.  How I longed to…

            "Oi, kuso nezumi!  How are you feeling now?" I heard Kyou-kun's gruff voice.

            "I'm doing perfectly fine, baka neko, but since you're here now…"

            "Kyo-kuuuuuuunnnnnn!  You shouldn't be inside this room!  Yuki-kun's resting!  Besides, why are you so far away from your loved one?!?  Leaving me outside all alone!  I AM THE ONE YOU LOVE, RIGHT?!?!"

            "Ahhhh, Kagura-san!  Please don't hurt Kyou-kun!  We don't need anyone else injured!" 

            The door closed with a sharp click and I was alone.

            I settled back down and could hear my family chatting outside.  There was the occasional worried squeak from one of the female members of my family, but otherwise their talk was quiet.  Hearing only their muffled voices made me feel disconnected…or at least farther away then I already felt.

            "Yuki-kun?"

            Tohru's soft voice made me jump.  I was so lost in thought, I didn't think she was in the room.  "Yes, Tohru-kun?"

            "Please forgive me for doing this to you," she carried on dejectedly, "I'm really sorry, I know I shouldn't have crashed into the pile in the first place.  I should have been paying attention.  Please, don't hold anything against me, I'll make sure that I keep focused from now on.  I'm so sorry Yuki-kun…gomenasai…"

            My heart broke.  Hearing her say all these sweet things when the entire thing had been one big accident.  "Tohru-kun, I won't forgive you…"

            She inhaled sharply, "I understand Yuki-…"

            "…because there's nothing to forgive you for.  All that happened was an accident.  Daijoube.  What's done is done.  There's nothing that you can change about it now, there's no need to feel sorry.  Besides, this wasn't your fault.  Please Tohru-kun, don't feel bad, it only makes me feel sadder."

            I felt a teardrop on my hand, and wiped it away.  "Tohru-kun…please…don't cry."

            I was shattered.  Here I was, alone with Tohru and all I could succeed in doing was make her weep.  How I wished I could cry myself, just…falter and for once collapse.  But I couldn't.  I just couldn't.  For one, I had to be strong, and for another…

            "Gomen Yuki-kun.  I should leave, I must be disturbing you," Tohru-kun mumbled quietly.

            "No!  Tohru-kun, don't leave!  I don't want to be alone…and besides I-I'm…afraid of the dark!" I improvised.  I felt my face grow hot.

But I didn't want to be alone.  Not now, not ever.  But I knew with the curse as a barrier, I would be alone for a very long time.  

            Thankfully Tohru's weight sank down onto the foot of my bed.  Her presence gave me warmth, I felt comforted knowing that at least she was there.  And that she would always be there.

***

            I walked alone and somewhat confidently down the street.  There was the gentle tapping of rain against my umbrella, and the air was chilled.  It was the kind of day that Kyou would despise.  

It had been 4 full months since the day of the accident, and I had spent most of my time in rehabilitation.  Everything was well…especially since I had Tohru as my friend.

            She was constantly there, holding my hand for comfort and security.  She was my pillar of hope, my courage, and my balance.  She endured with me through these unfathomably tough times, and I blessed her for that.

I blessed her for every step she took with me.  For every obstacle we both cleared.

For everything.

I was so completely immersed in my thoughts, I neglected to acknowledge that a car was fast approaching the street I was about to cross.  I stepped out directly into a soggy puddle, which brought me to my limited senses.  The rain was making it impossible to feel anything, it numbed me to the bone.  Suddenly, there was a loud honking of a horn, and a screeching of tires.  Surprised, I automatically stepped back.  The driver yelled angrily at me, "Watch where you're going you baka…" followed immediately by a gasp.  "Gomenasai, I didn't see you in front of me, it was my fault, please accept my apologies…"

Disgusted, I gingerly crossed the street.  

I hoped the driver crashed into a light pole.

***No one's POV ***

            The sun was just setting, but the sickle moon was already high in the sky.  It was buried among faint clouds, all of them casting a neat shadow on the ground below.  The storm had finally stopped its relentless rains, and there were no longer any dark, ominous clouds of death thundering above.  The sky had turned a beautiful pink, mottled with pale, yet dark blue.  Each of the colours blended in with one another, painting a beautiful pattern across the fading sky.

            "It just takes your breath away, doesn't it Yuki-kun?" Tohru asked.

            They were sitting on an old, rotting park bench outside of Shigure's home.  The flowers around them were withering away, layering their petals against the damp earth.  Insects buzzed along the fence weaving an intricate tune with the gentle swishing of the nearby trees.

            Yuki felt the dampness of the seat beneath him, and squirmed uncomfortably.  But he turned his face upwards and felt the cool, gentle breeze.  It played with his hair, and caught a pile of fallen leaves, blowing them up – up towards the wondrous sky.

            He breathed in the smell of the dampened earth, and concentrated on the music of the night, and Tohru's sweet bell-like voice.  "Yes Tohru-kun, it's beautiful."

            They sat in silence, enjoying the presence of one another and the beauty that they beheld on this glorious evening.

            "Tohru-kun?" Yuki said, turning to face her.

            "Mmhm?" Tohru whispered, eyes closed, still in awe of the world.

            "I would like to thank you for something," Yuki continued, "For showing me…everything…"

            Tohru turned to him, her eyes opening, and mouth bending into a soft smile.

            "For being there with me, and…and giving this precious moment to me.  For becoming an even better friend, and for being my hope when no one was there.  I would like to thank you, for…for being you.  For being so caring and sincere…"

            A solitary tear traced its way down Tohru's face, but she was still silent, still smiling.

            "For never regretting being with me.  I would like to thank you for it all.  I – I love you Tohru-koi.  I love you.  You have made me realise life's true gifts.  Love.  Serenity.  And…and courage.  Courage to face the things that you can't understand, to face the things that come your way…"

            Two separate paths had now made their way down Tohru's face.  Her tears trickled down these paths, and formed crystalline drops.  She made no move to wipe them away, and turned her face once again to the sky.

            It had deepened to a purple now, a quiet purple.  A sprinkle of stars dotted the sky, and the crescent moon glowed in its place.  The sun was barely up, and nearing the horizon, the quiet purple burst into a rainbow.  Indigo, then blue, a light green, turning to yellow, orange and a deepening red.  They blended well together, forming the silhouette of the setting sun.  

            "Thank you."

            Finally, a tear dropped from Tohru's face, and landed on her hand.  "How is it…how is it that you can be so…so understanding?" Tohru croaked, the words barely escaping her mouth, "How can you find so much beauty in everything around you?  How can you appreciate me, when I am the one who did this to you?  How?"

            Yuki paused to think about this.  "Because Tohru-koi.  Close your eyes and stop for a while.  Just pause in your life.  And listen," was all he said.

            She did pause, and she understood.  Understood the wonders of just being.  Of opening your heart and listening to the small wonders.  Of feeling warmth, and safety.  The small things.

            Yuki lifted his hands towards her face.  Gently, he ran his finger from the centre of her forehead, to her chin, tracing a straight line down.  He ran his hands over her soft face, wiping away her tears.  

_There is but one simple thing that I yearn for, _he thought to himself, _To see your face, Tohru-koi, your beautiful face that shadows any wonders of the world._

             After all, Yuki was blind.

A/N: Was it obvious?  If it was, then phooey, I was hoping it wasn't.  Oh well, tell me if it sucks (I know I know Carrie, I should have shortened it, but I'm too lazy).  Please review constructively though, otherwise people will have to look at you (yes, people on the street will occasionally glance at you…THE HORROR! O.o;).


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